Oh! Hello there!

Ruby (my car) has finally been put back together... its been a long time coming considering my accident was in March but its all good :) i'm just happy that its all done. what else is new with me you might ask? well simply put theres not much too interesting in my life. my friend was trying to get me and this other guy together and it was just too weird so i said no. its just weird not knowing who this person is but still knowing at the same time... its just not normal? i guess thats what i mean or maybe not practical? who knows what i mean when i'm talking anymore? i dont even know. i just like to ramble... i should update my other blog while i'm at it but whatevs. ill get to it eventually. it takes so long to upload photos and its just frustrating. pictures should be easy, its files that should take up more time... it seems like there is more info in normal files than just plain old pictures. i guess the computer takes the phrase,"a picture says a thousand words." quite seriously and takes its precious time to upload them. or maybe its something wrong with the internet. who knows? i dont. whats with the computer in asking me the same questions over and over again? i mean you'd think that with a computer guy as your dad that he would find the answers to the questions and be done with it. on the plus side i got a raise at work today!! so freaking awesome!! i didnt even have to ask... i love it! i think i may be working at this place for more than just a year... it just suites perfectly right now. i also dont mind seeing cute puppies all day either :) anywho i should be going... i was just bored and that is my ramble. so long, farewell!

Gibberish!!

I appreciate all the comments on my last blog post altho i can only read the ones in english. so either i'm being stalked by someone who doesnt speak english or its just really random. whomever you are I hope you have fun reading my posts. its just kind of weird that i dont know you. oh and my word of the night is weird. isnt it weird? very weird. weirdness. i'm so weirded out. weird. i've had some pretty weird but awesome dreams lately. everything is just weird right now... i can phrase it any other way. weird...

Summer Lovin'

Oh the joys of summer! this week has been extremely hot! It is just ridiculous! on Wednesday I started jogging... this morning I jogged too and I improved even after one day. I'm pretty proud of myself :) tomorrow i'm going to rip my room apart and discard everything that i dont want or need... it will be great! i'm super excited to get rid of things! i feel pretty accomplished altogether... this week has been a motivating week and i'm glad. life is short and we need to make the best of it. i really dont care if i dont go back to school because at least I've enjoyed myself and havent been a depressed, bankrupt state. oh the joys of being carefree! i'm going to read now... i'm almost finished my book that has taken me forever and a day to get through. dont get me wrong its a good book... some subjects in it arent the easiest to comprehend and what ever. btw a movie is coming out "ramona and beezus"... i'm kind of uber excited because i read the book when i was in elementary school!! oh my that was so long ago... anywho less chat more reading :D

Left Behind...

I never knew you,
but others did.
I never knew you,
but I mourn.
I never knew you,
but you had meaning.
I never knew you,
but you were loved.
I never knew you,
but you had purpose.
I never knew you,
but you gave reason.
I never knew you,
but I wish I had.
I never knew you,
but you gave hope.
I never knew you,
but you inspire.
I never knew you,
but I thank you.

I'm supposed to be the leading lady in my life!

the heading pretty much sums it up! this should be my fairy tale (meaning my life) so its not exactly going according to plan. funny thing is there should be a plan if things arent going according to the plan. planning isnt always easy... it involves actually setting out to do something... getting off your ass and doing something. life is just too complicated and it shouldn't be complicated at this point in my life. i'm too young to have a complicated beffuddled life. nothing is coheasive... its not working together. we make chick flicks to give ourselves hope that everyone has a fairy tale ending. when it gets to the point where you think prince charming is coming along it doesnt happen like you think. its not a matter of falling into his arms and thats the end... you cant live happily ever after with an idea of how it should be and what you think it is meant to be. why does the worst of it happen to the best of us? nothing really ever makes sense... you're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life right?

I'm dancing with myself...

house sitting... well what can i say? i'm too young to be going crazy... at least i'm talking to the animals and not just talking to myself. so far getting a good nights sleep constitutes my knees falling asleep... ya u read correctly my knees falling asleep. i woke up this morning and my knee was numb... dont ask how it happened it just did. so i had to move it around to get the feeling to come back. it was all very new to me. i have learned that Molly (the dog) drinks a lot. i learned it the hard way. i came home and there was a wet patch on the floor at the top of the stairs. it took a lot of paper towel to get that out. i just got a lovely text messsage from telus saying that they charged me too much money on my last bill! so i get a credit on my next bill!! yay! i love saving money! today is a rainy day and what better lunch to have than lipton chicken noodle soup? i thought it was quite appropriate. i also have my coffee which was my first attempt at making coffee with this coffee machine. its not the best ive had... McDonalds coffee is way better!i think it may need to be warmed up a bit... that might help. hopefully my next attempt will prove to be better. i cut my nails last night... i just realized i missed one... i dont know how i do it. sometimes i wish i was in hawaii with the people i'm house sitting for... then i realize none of my wishes come true :( i'll be dreaming about it tho. i had a good dream last night. this guy asked me out in a bit of an indirect way but it made me feel special and loved. i think my dreams r better than reality... i want my dreams and reality to switch places! the nightmares can stay right where they r tho. i think i need some chocolate. i promised Molly we'd go to Petsmart so maybe we'll do that now. then i can stop somewhere quickly to get some chocolate. so a relief for me is that Lost is finally starting to make sense and questions are being answered. i watched this weeks episode online and wow... Richard Alpert is just a crazy Spanish man. locke is not locke and its annoying me. claire is a crazy lady... she has turned into Rousseau. i like benjamin linus... seeing this side of him the side that has no idea what is going on is awesome. his sense of humour makes everything alright. those of you who read my blog but dont watch Lost i'm sorry if this is just jibber jabber that doesnt make any sense to you. anywho i think i am done with my rant and i'm ready to go to petsmart. Toodles!!

What the freakin heck?!

who knew that ur heart could bruise and crack but not break? this heart of mine is about to pump out of my chest. i'm just so damn hurt right now and i dont know how to say it. i am utterly and truely and royally pissed off. i could blow up in an instant. i dont know what to do, but my heart is aching. could i please just throw up now? would that make me feel better?? i'm trying to be mature but its hard when it makes me so crazy!! i've fallen hard and i can't seem to get up... there's no hand to lift me up. what on earth am i suppose to do?

Disconnected much?

I am I getting anywhere with my life? right now i feel so disconnected with everyone b/c i work till 8pm :P what a stupid shift... sometimes it can even go till 9pm. like its not that i hate the shift its that i dont get to see anyone. i'm always coming home when people r ready for bed. sometimes they are in bed by the time i get home. its kind of annoying but i suppose i have to live with it. i'm getting used to it but at the same time i just really wish that my social life would still thrive. we'll see how next week goes... whether it goes well or what i can fit into my schedule. frankly i miss being with other people that arent my co-workers. not that i hate my co-workers. i just havent made connections with them. we talk but sometimes it gets awkward b/c we dont know each other as well as i'd like to. at least i have a paycheck coming in :D i'm so looking forward to saturday tho!! School play!! LWW!!! super duper stoked!!

In a fog...

my mind is in a fog...
where else could it be?
my life is in a fog...
thats where it should stay.
It's all a blur...
no where to turn.
just following the path...
can't change whats behind.
keep moving forward...
thats where the fog will lead.
step by step
breath by breath
playing it out
choices to be made
a future to be discovered.
knowing where we stand
finding out where we'll end up.
hills and mountains
wherever I am
the fog is here.

Circuitous

running, running, running...
fearful,
darkness,
fleeing,
forward,
lighter,
brighter,
smiling,
relieving...
running, running, running...

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Well the good news is, is that i have 2 job interviews tomorrow. count them ONE, TWO! The bad news is i got my fillings today :P altho i got them all done at once so that is part of the good. the ugly was my face afterwards... my cheeks felt abnormally fat and my tongue well not in tasting order on one side. i had also watched a movie while getting my fillings done and the glasses witht the screens on them kind of made a red dent on my forehead and on the bridge of my nose. overall today wasn't too bad... hopefully tomorrow proves to be satisfying and rewarding.

This is why...

... i hate the dentist. He said,"Your teeth look really good... BUT... you have 2 small cavaties." he tries to diminish the blow by saying my teeth look good. i can tell u it takes a lot more than that to soften the blow:P

My life in ruins

... in summary... i HATE the dentist with a PASSION!

Ruby!!

Ruby is the name of the car that i puchased yesterday!! it is my car i own it and its awesome!! i love it. she is a 93 toyota camry and only 97000 kms on her! Ruby is white with a dark blue interior. so my bank account is kind of depleted but i am looking frantically for a new job... it shall be interesting...