What the freakin heck?!

who knew that ur heart could bruise and crack but not break? this heart of mine is about to pump out of my chest. i'm just so damn hurt right now and i dont know how to say it. i am utterly and truely and royally pissed off. i could blow up in an instant. i dont know what to do, but my heart is aching. could i please just throw up now? would that make me feel better?? i'm trying to be mature but its hard when it makes me so crazy!! i've fallen hard and i can't seem to get up... there's no hand to lift me up. what on earth am i suppose to do?